Whether you like it or not, you can’t really avoid interacting with people.
If you’re socially inept, you’re going to miss out on a lot of opportunities to create meaningful relationships.
That’s why today, we’re going to talk about how to become socially savvy.
I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to put myself out there and build rapport with others.
What You'll Learn In This Post
What better way to learn how to be socially savvy than from those who do it well?
If you’re wondering how to succeed socially, take the time to study charismatic people.
In fact, one of the things that I did to help me overcome my shyness back then was to interview socially confident people.
Because of that, I was able to observe their mindsets and behaviors.
Remember, your environment shapes you who are.
That’s why you have to be mindful of the company you keep.
Make an effort to surround yourself with charismatic individuals as much as you can.
Take the time to learn from them and aspire to emulate them.
As the saying goes, success leaves clues and all you have to do is follow them.
Going to any social gathering can be nerve-wracking especially if you tend to be quiet and reserved.
If you want to know how to become socially adept, make sure you prepare ahead of time.
That way, you don’t bail on social events last minute because you feel too nervous.
All you have to do is do a bit of research on a particular gathering that you plan on going to.
Try to anticipate what most people might be talking about.
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
For example, if you’re going to a conference, then look up the speakers.
If you’re going to a house party, try to learn more about the organizers.
The same ideas apply if you’re going to a networking event.
At the very least, try to familiarize yourself with trending topics, popular shows, and current events.
Find some reputable news websites and bookmark them.
Also, check out their social media accounts before you head out.
The more prepared you are, the more confident you’ll feel.
You’ll experience less approach anxiety and be able to contribute to any group conversation a lot more easily.
As a result, you’ll be able to make the most out of any get-together you attend instead of feeling left out.
In our social skills coaching program, we work with a lot of engineers, programmers, and developers.
Since they’re paid based on their specialized knowledge, they’ve spent a lot of time in isolation sitting in front of a computer.
From what I’ve noticed, they struggle to connect with others because they lack knowledge and experience.
If that sounds like you, I want to remind you that your technical skills will only get you so far.
In order to create more opportunities in your life, you have to develop your people skills as well.
Check out this video if you want to know how to develop social skills as an introvert.
To help you get started, I highly encourage you to fill in the knowledge gaps and start educating yourself.
You can read books, listen to podcasts, or watch videos on this topic.
But if you want to reach your goals much quicker, consider working with a social skills coach.
That way, you’ll have someone give you specific feedback and keep you accountable as well.
Fast-track your social success by learning from someone who’s been in your situation and has the results that you want.
As a result, you’ll see progress much faster than doing things on your own.
If you want to know how to become socially savvy, you have to be able to read social cues.
When you understand people better, you’ll be able to calibrate the way you interact with them.
As an immigrant, this was something I had to figure out very quickly when I moved to Canada.
Growing up in the Philippines and being raised in Saudi Arabia, I was exposed to different cultural norms.
I knew that if I wanted to learn how to be more likeable, I have to be able to communicate with others effectively.
To help you get started, I recommend you do some people-watching.
You can go to public places like coffee shops, parks or restaurants.
And then, take the time to observe how everyone interacts with each other.
Look at their body language and their facial expression.
Listen to the words that come out of their mouth and their vocal tonality.
Try to identify the underlying meaning of what they say and how they say it.
Doing so will help you get better at reading social cues, which in turn will make you less awkward.
You don’t know what you don’t know unless someone shows you how.
In order to become socially savvy, you need to be aware of how others perceive you.
You might be doing some things unknowingly that are putting people off.
For example, maybe you have a bad habit of crossing your arms during your interactions.
Perhaps you don’t make enough eye contact while talking to someone.
Maybe you don’t speak loud enough and people can’t understand what you’re talking about.
Whatever it is, you need to fix those issues right away.
The sooner you can do that, the more quality connections you’re going to make.
To implement this, ask someone you trust to tell you what kind of impression you’re giving off to others.
Just a heads up, you’re probably going to hear some things that might hurt you.
My advice is to keep an open mind and not take anything personally.
Take the feedback that you receive seriously and do your best to implement it the next time you interact with someone.
Whatever you feel others feel as well.
How you can expect anybody to be drawn to you if you’re not comfortable in your own skin?
In order to become socially savvy, you have to learn how to like yourself first.
Stop beating yourself up mentally by ruminating about your past mistakes and your perceived flaws.
Instead, make a conscious effort to think of what’s good about you and all your previous accomplishments.
In fact, this is one of the best confidence-building exercises that I know.
By doing so, you’ll see yourself as someone worth getting to know and you’ll be less intimidated by others.
This will definitely improve your self-image and raise your self-esteem.
You’ll feel more at ease in social situations which will allow you to show your true personality more.
From what I’ve noticed, those who struggle socially automatically assume that people won’t like them.
As a result, they act standoffish to protect themselves from getting rejected.
And because they don’t look friendly, not many people want to interact with them.
If you want to figure out how to become socially savvy, you have to change the way you think.
Check out this podcast interview with Scot McKay, Founder of X & Y Communications, where he talks about how to get out of your head in social situations.
Remember, your mind and body are interconnected.
When you change one, the other follows.
When you expect that others will like you, then you’ll act in ways to make that happen.
To help you with this, just imagine how you’d treat an old friend that you haven’t seen in a while.
That’s exactly what you want to be focusing on when you meet someone, especially for the first time.
By taking the lead and being warm towards people right away, you’ll connect with them very quickly.
If you’re finding it difficult to interact with others, it’s probably because you ruminate a lot.
It’s hard to be present during your interactions when you’re always in your head, right?
In order to become more socially savvy, you need to shift your focus.
The best way to do this is to follow your curiosity.
View yourself as a student and see what you can learn from whoever you interact with.
Do your best to be present and give the person you’re talking to your undivided attention.
Actively listen by leaning forward and nodding in agreement to acknowledge what they’re sharing.
Keep an open mind and really try to understand where they’re coming from.
By doing so, you’ll make anybody you talk to feel more seen, heard and understood.
If you want to know how to be memorable in social settings, this is one of the best ways to do it.
If you think about it, most interactions usually stall when an unfamiliar topic comes up.
In order to become socially savvy, you need to know how to relate to people.
Check out this video if you want to know how to express yourself better verbally.
When you use technical terms that only your co-workers would understand, that’s just going to go over people’s heads.
As a result, they’re going to feel excluded from the conversation because they have no idea what you’re talking about.
To fix this issue, always use simple words.
Try to explain complicated ideas in a way that others would comprehend quickly.
By doing so, you make it easy for people to figure out how to keep a conversation going with you.
The more relatable you are, the faster you’ll build rapport with whoever you talk to.
Feeling disappointed happens when your expectation doesn’t match reality.
If you tend to be quiet and reserved, you can’t expect yourself to become socially savvy right away.
That’s just not how things work.
To prevent yourself from feeling discouraged, I want to remind you that everything worthwhile takes time.
If you’re not where you want to be socially right now, that’s totally normal.
You’re supposed to be bad at things that you have no experience in.
That’s why you have to be patient with yourself.
The more you use it, the stronger it gets.
If you’re wondering how to be less awkward, you have to put your reps in.
You have to practice your social skills as much as you can.
For example, to help me overcome my shyness when I was younger, I got a job as a server in a busy restaurant.
By doing that, it forced me to talk to people every single day.
I had no choice but to break out of my shell very quickly because my tips were dependent on how likeable I was.
Over time, this experience helped develop my social confidence.
Remember, small actions add up to something big eventually.
I know it sounds obvious but the more people you talk to, the faster you’ll improve your communication skills.
If you keep showing up and doing the work, it’s inevitable that you’ll succeed socially.
If you’re wondering how to become socially savvy, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
If you want to become outgoing as a techie introvert, our program might be a fit for you.
Myke Macapinlac was a shy immigrant from the Philippines who moved to Canada when he was 17 years old.
After graduating from school, he got a job as a structural designer for a prestigious engineering company.
Even though he was technically skilled, he still felt lonely because he had no idea how to interact with people.
Tired of always missing out, he started working on overcoming his shyness and social anxiety back in 2005.
After many years of getting mentored by some of the best coaches and having thousands of conversations with strangers, he finally developed his social confidence.
In 2013, he founded Social Confidence Mastery and has been helping other introverted engineers become more outgoing since then.
He also writes articles, makes YouTube videos, and records podcast episodes on creating meaningful relationships with others.
These days, he's in a happy long-term relationship with a quality partner and has built an active social life filled with like-minded individuals.
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